Selling Out.

Alright, AP and I went and saw Facebook last night.

Pretty much it was about how this goofball and his pals invented social media via their Xangas but then they got lost in the limelight and one guy sued another and the internet almost ended up ruining their whole lives.

All in all, it was a pretty good flick but it got me a little worried about the same kind of situation befalling 31/Chi. I'm very concerned that all the money/fame/girls will turn us against each other and we will drift apart and become bitter enemies.

Maybe Teddy Kaczynski was right when he said technology was evil and would ruin everything.

Could 31/Chi fall prey to The Social Network style infighting/lawsuits/allegations of animal cruelty?

I see a possible scenario. After 31/Chi's cool BraveNet hitcounter (see below) records the millionth hit--which will probably cause it to explode in an awesome way--this blog will be offered exhorbitant amounts of money.

Scrooge McDuck will be an interested party in a transaction, saying, "Hey, motherfuckers, I got a bag of money for ya! Check it out!"

This guy seems very sinister in his dealings. We will not be selling to you, sir.

In the end, though, we will end up settling with Nick Saban. The deal will not only include two giant bags of money, but also great seats at all Tide/Dolphins/LSU games and a few straw hats.

Distributuion of funds/seats/hats will be based upon the volume of posts authors have contributed to this blog. Put bluntly, AP and I will be stacking checks. KMart's Mursing posts should leave him with enough cash to score a few bottles of Crown Royal, while everyone else recieves credit for being contributors.

Sorry, guys.

What happens after we get all the monies though?

We will probably become tortured artists...

...or huge dickheads.

I'm scared we will start hanging out with bad influences like Kevin Barnes.

Or Kevin Malone.

I am so scared that we will succumb to the temptations of drugs...

..and alcohol...

...and wind up in rehab/write a controversial memoir.

Then one day, after all the drugs and the jewels and cool parties with Rivers Cuomo and Rainn Wilson and their zany posse, the money will be gone.

The blog will be in the hands of Nick Saban, and he will be using it to dominate the SEC/AFC East. We will have abandoned everything we knew/loved, and ruined this great, pocket-tee, Euro-sunglasses wearing friendship. Look at what we used to be.

The money and the fame and the hot women created this acrimony. The blog was the vehicle that carried us to our tragic end. I'm afraid if I go into a dark room, AP will come out of the shadows wearing a piggy mask and take me a room full of glass and sharp pieces of MacBook Pros, representing the broken shards of our once glorious friendship, and as I try in vain to writhe through the small exit I will remember when everything was right and staid in the world of 31/Chi.

Thank goodness this blog is not that good.
Also, need to stop watching all the Saw movies before bed.


  1. I feel like I need to rate your posts on the level of drunkenness you are at when you write them. this is one of the more intense ones and I hereby rank this one as: ADD drunk. You barely have any cogent thoughts and have degenerated into simply pasting as many attention grabbing pictures on the blog while maintaining a rambling dialogue that links them together by the most insignificant of attributes

  2. I heard you were a sellout.