My Christmas List Top Ten

This year I struggled to come up with good ideas for Christmas gifts. I knew that I didn't want socks or random gift cards. So here is my list of the top things that I want Santa/my parents/make a wish to give me this year.

10)My Junior Year of High school endurance
I have already begun to come upon the phase in my life where I talk about the glory days of high school athletics. Back in my prime I was a fast son of a gun who could run all day. Now I am lucky if I haul my ever-fattening ass over to the gym once a week. If I could be have my endurance back from high school I think I would act like less of an old man…and yes I am only 21.

9)Trip to a Music Festival
Lollapooloza was an incredible experience for me this year. I learned to appreciate the value of a high energy, musically precise show. In 2010, I want to again be able to see bands like Animal Collective, Fleet Foxes, and Santigold all within the span of a few hours. Whether it is South by Southwest, Bonnaroo, Pitchfork, etc, I want to get back in the festival attitude. Sidenote: A Festivalus for the Rest of Us, my idea for a Christmas Music festival to allow hipsters (who are likely Senifeld fans) sanctuary from the parents they hate so much

8)A Power ‘Stache
Throughout history the most powerful movers and shakers have always been clad in amazing facial hair. Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Mike Ditka, and my Dad are perfect examples of this fact. The style of choice for me is definitely the mustache, but lately the stache has been more funny than intimidating. In 2010, I hope that Santa can bring me a sprinkle of magic dust and stimulate my stache to reach its full potential.

I am a huge Soccer fan but unfortunately live in a country whose team nine times out of ten blows. This year’s team has some real promise to make it to the second round of the tournament but I want them to go far. I am very fearful that this bunch will have a catastrophic blowout and be sent home from the biggest sporting event in the world with their tails between their legs…again. Santa if you know any good forwards, send them stateside.

6)Creation of New Words
This year thanks to the genius of wordsmith Matt Mavec aka Papa Bear, I was introduced to a constant stream of words and phrases I had never heard before. So I’ll quick catch all you uninformed readers up
Sardy Tardy=Freshman Girl/Hottie
Twinky Binky=Twins/ Hotties
Chubby McDubby=McDonalds Double Cheeseburger
Rottie=Rotisserie Chicken (that is on AOC’s car)
Biddy=Girl (hotness is irrelevant)
These words are awesome and make my day every time I heard them casually tossed around so if Santa could work out a way to keep this new phrases coming I will be very appreciative. Side note/Possible new words: Chinky Dinky=Rice Bowl Chicken, Jagga=someone who acts/looks like a member of the Jersey Shore, Freckles McGee=Hideous Hobag, Mr Garbage=Will Kriefels.

5)Scavenger Hunt
Scavenger hunts are awesome. They combine the feeling of adventure of gallivanting around with friends and competition that fuels my drive to win at all costs. Challenges like taking a picture with the ugliest person in Wal-Mart, swapping shirts with a stranger, shaving Lightweight’s bunny tail would provide entertain and stories to last the whole year through.

4)A Harry K Chevrolet hat
Two years ago, AlejandroPablo brought me a gift back from break. It was a gray stocking cap from his dad’s car dealership, which became one of my most prized possessions. It was with me through and awkward freshman year, a slightly less awkward sophomore year, and the start of a minimally awkward junior year. This hat was my go to on days when I decided a morning shower just wasn’t gonna happen and days when I wanted to look like I was in a folk band (which covers almost every day). This year it was lost in transportation of winter clothes to and from Omaha. I pray that Santa (or Doug Knust) can hear my plea and answer my Christmas wish for a new Harry K cap.
3)More Brain Cells
School sucks. I spend way too much time in the library; constantly worry about keeping a certain GPA and getting good MCAT scores. If Santa brings me more brain cells then I will likely be able to go to more game days, frat harder, and destroy these new brain cells with less concern than I do now. While at the same time annihilating exams left and right. This is basically wishing for more wishes but it’s my list so I don’t care
2)A Chance encounter with Jersey Shore Cast
If there is one certainty in life it is that I love the Jersey Shore. Whenever I am channel surfing and stumble across this show I smile. Call them guidos, guidettes, or jaggas(short for Jaggameister their drink of choice), these kids make me feel like im doing something with my life. If I am down on myself about a bad test or about wasting an afternoon, I look at these kids and know that life isn’t as bad as it could be. Thank you Jersey Shore and if I do ever get the chance to meet you all I will make sure to have my shirt off.

1)Irish Championship
For my entire life my favorite football team has gone without a championship. This holiday season Brian Kelly comes to the Irish family just like Jesus did providing hope and preaching good news (of recruiting and winning). This year I would really like Santa/God to deliver some divine providence to my boys to help me avoid sorrowful Saturdays that plagued my 2009.

Honorable Mention
Cool Gal- This last year I have definitely been on a rollercoaster with more lows than highs as far as girls go (see Bulleted List). This year if Santa could bring me a girl that I can just hangout with and be my weird self around I would be pleased.


  1. You already have 2 cool gals...does the weekend in breckring a bell?

  2. Peter, I'm working on that stocking cap. I'll keep you posted.