Here's a song that is awesome.

The song "Escape" by Rupert Holmes is definitely one of the greatest songs I have ever heard in my entire life. I remember hearing this song on commercials for those "50 Great Love Songs" compilations they sell during Maury and thinking, "Man, everyone loves this song because it is so incredible and that is why they are putting it on television." In reality, though, this song has a couple things going against it. First, it's from the late '70s/early '80s, and those are times that didn't give America much as a whole. Second, it is a quintessential "one-hit wonder" meaning that after homeboy Rupert Holmes wrote it, he didn't really have any more songs. I take offense that some people think this is a bad thing. I mean Sylvia Plath only wrote one book and it's a masterpiece.

Rupert Holmes put so much into this song, he fried his creative potential, but, for his sacrifice, he left us with a glorious masterwork. He's pretty much a modern day Vince van Gogh.

Ok, so pretty much this song is about a guy who gets a little fed up with his old lady and starts creeping around looking for a new gal. He checks out the personal ads and runs across some broad that is just crazy for the frosty, tropical beverage pina coladas.

However, due to Holmes' amazing vocal bending ability, it sounds like the personal ad is seeking someone that likes "peeing in the closet."

There is also an appeal for people with a preference for "making love...on the dunes by the cape"

But, once again, Holmes slurs his words (he parties) and it sounds like an appeal to "making love...with a dude in a cape." Like this guy. Bow-wow.

At the end of this song, ol' Rupe goes to meet his new, foxy gal and it turns out to be his old old lady. Whoa. Pretty much, this song is about cheating on your old lady with your own old lady and getting caught and nothing bad happening.

Adultery, that's what it's about.

If this song had taken place in the 2000's, it probably would have moved the story away from the personal ads (newspapers are lame) and to the world wide web. Rupert would have been searching for a new lover on Craigslist.

And you know what happens on Craigslist. Weird stuff.

Alright, so that's an awesome song for you. Best part about it? Rupert Holmes looks like Al from Tool Time.

Be excellent to each other.

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