I Have To Write An English Paper Once A Week, Might As Well Post Them

Observe the culture of bearded slackers in contemporary entertainment.

The “bearded slacker” so simple that his two foremost characteristics are right there in his name. He is simply a slacker with a beard. He engages in menial employ—if any at all—, abuses alcohol and drugs, sometimes engaging in the sale of the latter, and is a bottomless dispensary of bad advice. He can often be found freeloading off the protagonist, and is the cause for much of our noble hero’s comic folly. (Cite: Dean from Extract, Clegg for Eastbound & Down, Alan from The Hangover). Generally, the bearded slacker exists in the sphere of propping up the main character by drawing “well it could be worse” comparisons.

Is this my future?

If so, I don’t as much offense to the notion as some would. True, the bearded slacker is an aimless, ambitionless, drunken mess of a drain on society, but aren’t we all from time to time? Besides, this is what the bearded slacker wants to be.

The bearded slacker is free. He may live at home or in his friend’s guest room, tend bar, do a surplus of drugs, drag down the human race, and try to make a living selling action figures on eBay, but he finds freedom in those things. These are the things he likes to do, and that’s what he does.

Cite: In Extract, there is a scene where the main character, Joel, is dealing with a workplace (read: real world) crisis, and in strolls the bearded, sport-shirted Dean who nonchalantly asks, ‘Hey, you wanna hit some golf balls, dude?’. In the middle of the weekday. This scene juxtaposes stress versus leisure.

Would anyone readily choose stress over leisure?

Of course not, but stress is the wheel that turns the machine. The bearded slacker wants nothing to do with that machine. He has turned his back on the machine and set his sights on his own pursuits. By this action, the bearded slacker has established himself as someone who has chosen an aesthetic and remained authentic, to the point of social inappropriateness.

So, if you ever come across me looking like a wreck and living in someone’s basement, just know that I’m sticking to my guns.

Are you?