Shark Week.

It's Shark Week (uh, in case you have never seen Discovery Channel or engaged in populous discourse this is a week dedicated entirely to sharks and shark related programming on the Discovery Channel) so here is a semi shark related post, 31/Chi's tipping of the hat to this super-duper week.

Sharks are rad. They are mysterious killing machines of the high seas. They eat all kinds of things and dominate various creatures with shocking display of strength and ass-kicking big ass teeth. However, as neat-o as sharks are, I will do you one better. MEGALODON.

The Megalodon or Carcharocles megalodon (from Greek, "big tooth") is a shark that existed in prehistoric times (read: with dinosaurs), from the Oligoce to Pleistocene epochs approximately 25 to 1.5 millions years ago. Blah, blah, blah, science words, science words, science words. Enought of this hocus pocus mumbo-jumbo. Let's focus on what's important. This was a huge, badass shark. Please see the charts and graphs below.

As you can see, the megalodon was way bigger than the Great White (green, shark shaped) and way, way huger than a human being (blue, person shaped).

This graph gets the same point across, except it is more explicit in its depiction, showing that you could easily fit a Great White into a megalodon like a sort of high killing power turducken.
Once again a person is included for further reference, albeit this time sporting scuba gear. (Note: although not represented for scale, a person is bigger than a turducken.)

Also, megalodon was bigger and much more menacing than a very nice boat (see below).



Here is another picture comparing the size of a megalodon's massive jaws with what is probably a junior high physical education teacher.

The megalodon's mouth is much bigger than someone who can make you run the mile and climb the rope. Party.

I'm not sure what megalodon ate everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner (or snacks), but a quick search of the internet yielded a few answers. From what I've gleaned off the world wide web, the megalodon has a variety of favorite treats.

They loved to eat whales...
dinosaurs...
...and helicopters.

So that's a quick rundown on the megalodon, a crazy dino-chomping party animal of the prehistoric ocean. It liked to party, eat whatever it wanted, and be huge. This is a lifestyle I can wrap my head around. Also, on another point of jealousy, the megalodon has achieved one of my most vaunted lifetime goals, having a Sci-Fi Channel movie made about its life.

Well, that's the megalodon. Big-timer of the seas. Happy Shark Week.