Aside.

Have you looked at any crappy websites today?

Well if you haven't you should check out this turd: The Dailyer Nebraskan. Actually, before you click on any links make sure you're over a sink, bathtub or plastic sheet so you don't make a mess when you claw your eyes out.

My friend sent me this link with the qualifier, 'Hey, you like The Onion, you should check out this site, it's kinda like that.' What a dickhead, what with his faulty logic. His train of thought makes about as much sense as this one: 'Hey, you like enchiladas, you should check out this toilet paper tube stuffed with Kraft singles, it's kinda like that.' Someone punch me in the face, please.

Note: The Dailyer Nebraskan's moniker is a play on the name of the U of Nebraska's student newspaper, The Daily Nebraskan. If this doesn't show you the kind of 'zany' humor they're employing at the Dailyer Nebraskan, you just don't get it, man. They are so quirky.

If you're into 'really dry' and 'deadpan' humor, check out awesome articles like

'America Sees Earthquake In Haiti As Wakeup Call, Thankful No One Was Hurt' or

'Boy Who Shot Father Recruited To ‘Halo 3’ Team'. If you're into vaguely left leaning politics and taking lots of digs at the right, you have to read 'McCain Promises Nation’s Youth Hard Candies If Elected' and other gems like 'Republican Dog Shits First, Asks Questions Later'. These guys are just like Jon Stewart with their hard-hitting political pieces! Personally I prefer stories like 'Small Town Has A Lot Going On, Reports Every Visiting Politician' or perhaps 'Perfectly Preserved 1950s Small Town Discovered In Western Nebraska'. These really capture the essence of 'Lincoln is the biggest city we've ever been to' that just screams off the page.

Hey, Dailyer Nebraskan, cynicism is really funny, you should really stick with it.

Now, I'm not here to claim that 31/Chi is a legitimate artistic/rhetorical forum and I'm not here to throw around phrases like 'state school riff-raff' or 'self-aggrandizing pretentious fuckholes' but this is the reason why journalism departments should have to take monthly field trips to the real world. The 'masterminds' behind this webesite are all probably really nice guys, but this is the kind of bullshit that comes out when everyone around you thinks the way you do. You start getting a lot of 'Hey, man, you know what would be cool?' met, tragically, with 'Oh man, yeah, that would be awesome!' instead of the 'No, dude, you're a fucking idiot' it probably needs.