Finals.

So, gang, here we are. Finals week has rolled around and we are reveling in its presence. "Reveling" may not be the right word, but I'm going to use it. Why? Because I don't really mind finals week. I know this is going to catch a lot of stricture from the "fuck finals" and "school is so hard" crowd, but when you stop and think about it, finals aren't that bad.

Let me restate that: finals week isn't that bad. The finals themselves, the actual tests, are pretty terrible. Yesterday, I took two finals (Early American Literature and Critical Issues in Native American Studies) and proceeded to fill up an entire BlueBook on one and 3/4 quarters of a BlueBook on the other. So, yeah, that part was not fun at all. But after the tests were done, I was free from obligation. Today, I didn't have any tests. I slept in until 10:30. You know what time I usually have to wake up on Tuesday? 7:30. Finals week isn't all that bad, I guess.

Here's another reason finals week is awesome. Alright, let's pretend for a little minute that you're taking a final. It's a tough one, and you need to do reasonably well on it. You've been studying for a couple days, and you're a little bit nervous. The test comes to your desk, your pencil's out, and it's go time. You do all right. You leave the room feeling like one million dollars. The test, over. The thing you've been dreading is passed, the burden lifted. Anyone who has felt this feeling and done cocaine can equate them as existing on commensurate scales. And, since you probably have more than one final a semester, you are afforded this opportunity to chase the dragon multiple times.

The resolute will still still riposte, "But when it's finals, I have to study a lot!" Well, I should hope so. You are in school. There's an old saying that Beechnut and I like to toss around, "School's always getting in the way of college." Well this may seem, at first, as an axiom to our love-of-the-party lifestyle, it's also a subtle restatement of priority. True, college is supposed to be the most awesome four years of your life. But the awesome times have to be earned with a little hard work from time to time. If you have spend Tuesday night in the library, that's your way of earning all those Tuesday nights in Billy Frogg's.

Another point: with no finals, there would be no point for the pre-finals and post-finals party. On Friday, I plan on getting a case of beer, turning some music up loud, and getting utterly obliterated. This will be viewed with little opprobrium from my peers. Why? Because finals are over. If we hadn't endured this arduous and formidable week of academic gauntlet-running, we would be little entitled to the firewater shellacking we're going to give ourselves at week's end.

Finally, let's keep this in perspective. Yes, we have finals. Yes, they are hard and kind of suck. Yes, it would be great if they were over or we never had to take them. Now stop and remember that you're in college. You're not working in a coal mine. You're not in Iraq or Afghanistan getting shot at. You're not trying to raise a kid on a waitress' salary. We're lucky to be here. So stop complaining, study what you have to, take the test, and get fucked up when it's over. We don't have much time left here, so let's make it count.